We’ve all seen and quietly noticed that person who just has it, the quiet pull toward someone who isn’t necessarily the most obvious person in the room, but somehow becomes the only one you notice. 

You know the people who could wear a plastic bag and just make it feel intentional - but you just can’t put your finger on what it is. You know “it” before you can explain it, but what is “it”? It’s never loud, it’s not forced, always effortless. So what is it? Because it’s not confidence and it’s certainly not perfection. 

We are so immersed within a culture obsessed with visibility, curated feeds and algorithm approved style; you would assume “it” could be manufactured, replicated, even recreated…right? On instagram, maybe. 

But it can’t.

The people who have ‘it’ seem slightly removed from the need for awareness or recognition. There’s this kind of self containment to them, like they’re not waiting to be chosen, not adjusting to be understood, not asking the room for permission to exist. Ironically, that’s exactly what makes people lean in.

Psychologists might call it presence, others might say magnetism but neither quite captures the tension of it. 

There’s a layer we think creates it, how someone looks. Style doesn’t give you “it”, but it can frame it. The way someone dresses, moves, and curates themselves becomes an extension of that. 

Someone wearing something slightly “off”, but completely owning it. An outfit that doesn’t work on paper, It’s never about being the most fashionable. It’s about being the most resolved in your choices. Because when someone knows themselves, even subtly - it shows in everything: how they stand, how they speak, how they take up space. And suddenly, it’s not really about the clothes or how they look, It’s about coherence.

There’s a reason “it” feels almost chemical.

We’re wired to notice what isn’t immediately available. There’s a concept in psychology called intermittent reinforcement. It is the idea that we become more drawn to what isn’t fully consistent, easily understood, or immediately given away and maybe that’s part of what “it” is. Not mystery for the sake of mystery but a kind of tension.

Something slightly unresolved. Something not entirely legible at first glance but which often makes people lean in. Because perhaps “it” isn’t only about style, or presence, or the way someone carries themselves but the intrigue created by what remains just out of reach.

Think CBK. The pieces were simple. Almost ordinary. What made them unforgettable was never the clothes, but the person inside them. That was “it” and it can’t be borrowed.

Because the people who have it aren’t thinking about it and maybe that’s the point.. “It” isn’t something you consciously perform. It’s something felt by others, often before it’s ever understood.